I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
