I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
