i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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