Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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