why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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