I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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