Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
