i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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