I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
