So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
