mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
