i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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