you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
