No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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