If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
