3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
