just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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