More tranny stories later!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
