I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize