The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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