All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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