you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
