I could have mohawked her pubes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
