I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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