He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
