You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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