Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
