I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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