she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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