Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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