I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
