seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
