He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
