I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
