"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
