hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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