it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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