i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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