I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
