You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize