She's JV to your varsity
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
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On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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