Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
