I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
