no, he came in my armpit
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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