let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Come on in and take your pants off
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