im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
