Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
