and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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