those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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