This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
