Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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