you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
