did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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