You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
