I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
pop tarts are not kleenex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
