have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
