In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa