HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.