Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
