all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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