STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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