He kissed a someone with a penis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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