I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
