now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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