question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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