Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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