he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
